


Unfaithful.

by lavenderhoneymndes



Category: Shawn Mendes (Musician)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:35:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29205984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderhoneymndes/pseuds/lavenderhoneymndes
Summary: you make the biggest mistake of your relationship.
Relationships: Shawn Mendes & Reader, Shawn Mendes & You, Shawn Mendes/Reader, Shawn Mendes/You
Kudos: 4





	Unfaithful.

Things had been different between you and Shawn. Once the happy couple, being the envy of all of your friends, the two of you began to unravel and it felt like there wasn’t anything that you could do to stop it. Shawn seemed like he didn’t care, he didn’t put in any effort it seemed, so you didn’t either. You’d gone from lovers to simply roommates what felt like overnight. In the last week, it’s gotten worse, you noticed. Shawn was different. Sad or angry, you couldn’t tell which, and he wasn’t doing anything to hide it. 

Dinner was quiet between the two of you, as it has been for the last week or so. Nothing but the sound of your forks clattering with your plate filling the room. It was awkward, and you were rushing through your dinner in the hopes of getting it over with so you could awkwardly get ready for bed together. 

You were almost finished with your dinner when the silence broke with Shawn’s voice just barely above a whisper. 

“Were you going to tell me?” he asks, looking directly through you. His eyes were cold and dark, something you’d only seen once, but it wasn’t directed at you. Now, with his eyes piercing straight through your soul, you wanted nothing more than to run and hide. 

At the same time, your mind was reeling. How could he know? When did he find out? What should you say? It was all going through your mind in that split second between his question and your answer. 

“What?”

“Were you. Going to tell me?” 

“Shawn I don’t -” you deny looking down at your plate, pushing your food around. At the moment, denial seemed like the best option. Deny until you were ready to come clean. But Shawn wasn’t going to have that. He knew. He knew what you did, and he wanted to hear the words come from you. Not some third party. Not through the screenshots, or the photos of you together with him. He needed to hear you say it. 

He slams his fists down on the table at your denial, rage coursing through his veins. “Dammit. Just -” he takes a deep breath, leaning back in his chair looking at you, “Just be honest with me. I know okay. You’ve been caught. I caught you. Now just tell me.”

There’s a moment of silence so deafening, and your heart drops right to your stomach. This isn’t how you planned on things going. You don’t know how you would have told him, or when, but him confronting you about the whole thing was never part of the plan. 

“You’ve been so distant lately.” you excuse, leaning forward trying to get him to understand. 

“I’ve been distant?.” he says under his breath, “Jesus Christ.” 

“I - we haven’t been ourselves. And I just needed something to feel -” you can feel Shawn’s rage radiating off him, but beyond that, you could see the hurt behind his eyes. And knowing you were the cause of his pain, hurt you more than anything. “It was a mistake Shawn but it’s over now okay, I haven’t - it’s over with okay? I swear.” 

“How long? How long was it going on?”  _ How long have I been stupid and blind to all of this _ ? He thinks. 

“Not long.” 

“How. Long.” 

“3 months.” 

He lets out a bitter chuckle, running a hand through his hair in complete disbelief that he was so clueless for so long. How he couldn’t notice, how he could think that everything was fine between the two of you, while you were out with some other guy, he couldn’t believe it. He noticed how distant you’d become, but he thought it was just stressed. You just started grad school, and it was a lot to take on on top of work, and he knew that. But he never would have thought that you’d do something like this. 

“It’s just that it became so hard to talk to you and -” 

“No. You will not turn this on me. This isn’t about me. This is about you - you stepping out on me for some -” he takes a deep breath, trying to compose himself. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Sorry? You’re sorry? Tell me, were you sorry when you were spreading your legs for him.” 

“Shawn!” 

“Really honey, tell me.” he snaps, “Because I want to know? Were you sorry when you were meeting up with him? When you were sending him photos? Or how about when you were with him and then came home to me. Came home to share a bed with me?! Where you sorry then?” 

“Yes!” you snap back at him, “Yes I - it was eating me up Shawn you have no idea.” 

“Your right about that, because I would never, ever do that to you!” 

“I fucked up, okay? I fucked up and I won’t do it again. I just -” you could feel your eyes sting with the threat of tears, but you held them back. You didn’t have a right to cry. To be upset. You were the one at fault here, you had to take responsibility for it. 

The whole time you were involved with him, you knew it was a mistake. You met him in one of your classes, agreed to study together and one thing led to another, and the next thing you know you’re having a full-blown affair. It was wrong, and you knew it was wrong but at the time it felt…..right. You were getting attention Shawn wasn’t giving you, you were getting affection and you didn’t want to let that go. Ultimately it was the guilt that was eating away at you that made you cut things off. You could no longer go see him, and then turn around and come home to Shawn, share a bed with him, and not feel sick to your stomach. 

The two of you sat there for a moment, sitting in the confession waiting for the other to say something, anything. 

“Can you tell me why?” he asks 

“I told you, it was just that you’ve been distant, and hard to reach. I just felt like, I don’t know, like I was losing you. Like you didn’t love me anymore, and I needed something.” 

“I loved you.” 

“Loved?” 

Past tense. He loved you, and now it’s gone. It’s gone because you fucked up.

“I don’t know! What do you want me to say? ‘That’s alright honey, I don’t blame you.’ and go back to things as usual.” 

“Well no, but I -” 

“What?! What do you want, because clearly, I’m not enough for you.” 

“That’s - That’s not true, Shawn I love you. I love you more than anything -” 

“Do you love him too?”

“No. I don’t. It wasn’t anything more than -” you didn’t want to give him the details, “I don’t love him.” 

Shawn looks right through you trying to detect a lie but he doesn’t see one.  _ At least there’s that _ , he thinks. His eyes soften as he leans forward and faces in his hands trying to gather his thoughts. 

“When did you find out?” you ask, “How?”

“I found out about a week ago, I um - I went through your phone,” he admits, “you weren’t exactly subtle you know? At the end. I knew something was up I just….I didn’t know it was that until -” you wanted to be angry with him. Mad that he invaded your privacy, by going through your phone, but you had no right, you were the one in the wrong here, and you could see Shawn broken in front of you the last thing that you needed to do, the last thing that you deserved was to be upset with him. 

You nodded your head understanding. You think you heard something that sounded like a sniffle. You got up from your seat across the table and go to him nealing down beside him. You reach outputting your hand on his shoulder, stroking down his back to calm him down but he jerks away. 

“Don’t,” he snaps before shaking his head, letting out a deep sigh, “I just - I need time okay.” Your touch, that once comforted him, nearly disgusted him now. All he can think about is you touching him. You kissing him. You holding him. And he couldn’t do it.

“I’m going to sleep on the couch tonight.” 

“No, you take the bed, I'll take the couch.” you object firmly. 

“I’m not going to make you sleep on the couch honey it’s fine.” he huffs. The pet name tasted bitter, rolling off of his tongue and he wanted to take it back, but it was just...a reflex. What he was used to. 

For you the pet name gives you hope that maybe things will be okay. That you can work through this but only for a second. 

“Alright.” you conceded, standing up from your spot next to him, “Are you finished?” you asked nodding towards his nearly full plate. He did nothing but push his food around, didn’t have much of an appetite. 

“Yeah.” 

You take his plate and collect yours, going into the kitchen to clean up, while Shawn sulks into your shared bedroom to get ready for bed. He emerges from the room just as you're finishing up with a pillow and some blankets from the linen closet and begins setting up his bed for….however long. 

“Shawn, I can take the couch, really.” you try again, feeling guilty. You’d broken the man's heart, the least you could do is allow him a good night's rest in his own bed. 

“I told you, it’s fine.” 

You nod your head biting your lip, respecting his wishes. “Well, goodnight,” you say making your way to your bedroom. 

You get dressed for bed alone in your ensuite and even though it’s been strange between the two of you lately, it still felt wrong going through your routine without Shawn by your side, smirking at you in the mirror. You climbed into your side of the bed, pulling the covers up to your chin, and looking up at the ceiling your mind reeling. 

What have you done? 


End file.
